Let’s face it, when it comes to being asked for favors, sometimes it feels like there is no escape! But we can certainly make sure we are not being taken advantage of. So, when the word “yes” slips from your lips more often than “no”, and you find yourself going beyond the call of duty to satisfy others, you may be a victim of the “people pleasing” trap.
Maybe you are a serial people pleaser, or maybe you know one. People pleasers anxiously scurry to fulfill the expectations of others for a fleeting moment of satisfaction from a simple “thank you” at the expense of their own well-being. Worst case scenario: you turn to drugs, alcohol, an eating disorder as an unhealthy way to cope.
Certainly, there are times when we all have to people please, for instance, to satisfy requirements for work as well as our personal relationships. However, when you are overdoing it, anger could be a symptom. I often tell my patients that anger is a common sign that our people pleasing efforts have violated certain rules, standards, and philosophies we have for ourselves, and that our need to please could now be operating at our own expense!